On the of[FENCE]ive.

Once again, I am letting you know that this may offend you, so if you don't like getting worked up over subjects, I suggest you exit my blog now.

That being said, I am calling into question those of my religion (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints..or "Mormons") on the subject of obedience to their leaders. I have been reading "The Miracle of Forgiveness" by President Spencer W. Kimball, and it has led me to some questioning of "us" as a whole.

The way Pres. Kimball speaks in his book is very straightforward and doesn't cushion the blows to those who are sinning. He makes it clear how serious sins are, and even helps clarify the difference between sins of commission (doing) and sins of omission (not doing). I received this book from a Bishop a few years ago, obviously because I was in desperate need of some help an guidance in understanding my sins, but because I found the book to be too harsh at the time I set it aside. I wasn't ready to hear how I was doing wrong, and what I needed to do to fix it. I wanted to reason away why it wasn't "that bad" and I thought the book was extreme. Sadly, I could have seriously benefited from hearing the things back then that I am hearing now.

So I am know at a point as I am reading this book that I am ashamed of my mistakes and sins, but also very aware of how many others are in the place I once was. Please understand that I am NOT judging, I am not a person who will ever be able to judge anyone on mistakes they have made....I have probably done 100x's worse. But I am concerned and heart broken over those who are rejecting the teachings of our leaders, the way I had. I think because I now understand just how serious each sin is, and how far we all have to go to become "perfect", I am dieing inside for those who still do not understand this and who are allowing Satan to whisper in their ears that casual sins won't keep them from celestial glory. I listened to Satan for too long, and I've seen where those baby steps lead, I've been there. Obviously not all will end up where I was, but the point Pres. Kimball makes is that, if it can lead to it, why take the first step? In the temple we make covenants, and some of them I think we kind of push aside and think nothing much of them, simply because we think "oh, come on, what's the harm in that?" But remember, it was Joseph Smith who felt bad and repented because of his "lightheartedness" and keeping company with a jovial crowd as a young boy. I wonder, why is it that he felt wrong for this? Now I know, we are told not to act in this way, and I think too many people brush it off. Believe me, I am at fault for acting this way, I like to have a good time and will sometimes joke inappropriately, but that doesn't make me feel better knowing that "everyone else is doing it".

I remember Prophet Hinkley asking us to refrain from getting more than one pair of earrings on one ear, to not get tattoos and such. But I thought it was only a suggestion, and as long as I wasn't "too extreme" then I was still "ok". I believe that is how many members of our faith think, that sometimes things are only "suggestions" and we are still fine to do or not do to a certain extent. We are all wrong, because whether it be by the Lord or his servants, it's all the same thing. If I heard the Lord say those things that we hear at conference, I'm sure I would try a heck of a lot harder to listen and obey, because, duh, Heavenly Father literally just said it. Sadly, truly He is speaking to us, those ARE his words, but because we are looking at a face of a mortal man, I think we don't listen as intently as we should. 

My plea is simple- obey. Obey for your own safety, obey for the safety of your children and families, obey because you love the Lord, obey because non-members are gathering their information about our church from YOU. Obey, obey, obey. I think it shows the kind of people we are when we will go to church, teach our lessons, go to the temple, yet we will wear bikinis swimming, we will curse, and we will watch movies that allow filth into our minds and homes. I find it incongruent with what we are taught. How can we teach our fellow brothers and sisters to do what is right when they do not have a solid example to follow! If we let ourselves be slack on "one or two" things that we are ask/told/commanded not to do, we are telling those around us, including our children, that it doesn't matter, and that it's "ok" to not do the "little things" because we still do the "big things".  But I know that it is the "little things" that truly show Heavenly Father the kind of person we are.

I hope we all start to listen a little more closely to what is asked of us. To go above and beyond what we normally do. I pray that you all become the example you were meant to be. 

Think of the change we could create in this world simply by following the commandments we have already been given. Do not let Satan win.

I just puked a little...

From excitment!!
 Max just took two steps on his own!!! I think my heart will explode with happiness! He's getting so big!!!

Because I'm better than you.

That's why.

I gave birth to a lion, what did you do?

Camera Shy.

I have to admit, I have refused to do any kind of decent pictures, especially using my "real" camera..aka, needs film, because it is such a popular hobby here in Utah.

But I have always had a secret love for photography. I could sit and look at other photographers photos all day! I think it is truly talent alone that can capture the true beauty of a moment. I believe everything is beautiful in it's own way, but it all depends upon your perception and how you capture it on film in order for others to appreciate it.

So, with a camera that has been laid to rest for some time, simply because of a dead battery,(though, it IS a single $11 battery), I am wanting to resurrect my camera and put down my quick snap digital in hopes of reigniting that spark I once had.

Now, I am far from being good, hence why I have been so tempted to stay away for so long, but I really REALLY love it. And I think that's really all that matters in the end. It doesn't matter that I'm not great at it, but what does matter is that it gives me joy.

So, if husband permits, I will buy the needed battery and use up the new pack of film I bought a year ago.

Wish me luck!!!

Love him!!

Maximus Anthony Hord.... you just make me smile.

You will be an awesome brother!!

My big boy!

So the other day I was feeling "nice" and decided to give Max a little treat after lunch. So I grabbed one of his spoons and put some Nutella on it for him to suck on. Apparently he was hooked! I had to fight him to give back his spoon after it was gone. So Here's a few pictures I snapped while he was peacefully enjoying his little treat.

He was very intent on just sucking on it. He seemed a bit annoyed that I was trying to make him smile for pictures too.

So by the end of his snack he had smeared it everywhere trying to lick every last bit off his hands and the spoon. He missed quite a bit though.

Thankfully he LOVES baths, so he willingly jumped right in.

Notice the chocolaty hand stains-

He was watching me fill up the tub, so his little hand smears were left behind.

I was a bit grossed out over how brown the water was, but I guess that's what happens when you mix chocolate and water. It was pretty gross with little chunks of chocolate floating around though. :(

I love my little boy! He makes life so entertaining!!

I am secretly hoping now that this new little addition to our family is a boy as well, I just really want Max to have a buddy that's so close in age! He needs a friend so bad!

I feel so bad when we're out and he gets all giggly watching kids play at the park. He wants to go play with them, but they would trample him! I just wish he had more little people to play with, it makes me so sad to see how happy he is when other kids are around. I feel so bad that he has to be alone so much, well with me, but I'm just mommy.

Another thing lately has been that Max is now aware of Brayden leaving for work and when he comes home too. It seriously breaks my heart to see Max cry when he watches Brayden leave in the morning. All during the day he gets excited when he thinks he hears the door open. Usually if we're in our bedroom when Brayden gets home Max will hear the door and start smiling and wait at the end of the bed staring at the doorway for his daddy to come in. He gets so excited to see his daddy!

Today while he was eating lunch the air pressure in the hallway from a neighbor opening/closing their door made our door sound like it opened, and Max immediately turned around and said "dada!" Ugh! I wanted to cry! It kills me to see him get so excited when I know daddy isn't home yet. :( But I'm so happy that he's learning and makes the connections between the sounds that mean daddy's home. He's mommy's little genius!!!!! <3

Domestics.

Last night my wonderful little baby-kins slept peacefully through the night! He was cooing and giggling, making all sorts of precious sounds. I was in love. My hubby-wubby was dead asleep, so he wasn't able to enjoy this little gift, though he also was unable to share the joy of listening to our neighbors have their weekly domestic. Nope, that was all mine to enjoy alone!

I woke up at 1:45am to a door slamming. Yep, it has begun.

Immediately I hear the all too familiar screams of a drunken tirade outside my window. (such a blessing!) I sit and enjoy hearing about what new issue has popped up within the family, and yes, instead of the sister being disowned, this time it's the younger brother. Ahhh, if only my family was that close. :)

I try to go back to sleep, but find it difficult to block out the stream of F-words that come flying through my window clear as day. I am actually quite impressed, I had no idea you could actually express yourself using ONLY the F-word. I think I heard that word more in that hour than I had EVER heard in my entire life combined. Kudos my drunk friend, you have officially fried your brain past functioning.

So, I am slightly annoyed that I am unable to enjoy the fact that my son has not yet woken up screaming so loud my ears bleed.. (I mean, he giggles sweetly in his crib to wake me up.) So I get up and look out the window and notice that it is not actually my neighbor outside this time, it's his younger brother (which I gathered by such phrases as: "He's no longer my brother!" and "I may be a drunk, but he's 30 and acts like he did when he was 10. At least I act my age.")

Then I hear him say, "Well if the cops come and see blood I'll tell them it's because he came at me! That's what happened!" (Feel free to be colorful with your language while reading this if you want it to be more accurate. I took the liberty to report what I heard void of bleeps.)

So after several more comments about his brother bleeding, I start to wonder if my neighbors child is visiting this weekend, but I assume she is not, because there tends to be peace and quiet when she's around...he's a great parent.) So I am a bit more on edge, but tell myself that it will be over soon, as I am rocking myself in the corner of my closet. Oh wait, nope, that was during my childhood. So I lay in bed trying to apologize to God for the fact that there are a billion F-bombs swimming inside my head now, and hoping that he'll soon go inside. But, no luck.

He keeps going quieter as he relaxes into his drunkenness, but then somebody that's out there with him decides to make a comment (I am guessing) that sets him off again. So again I hear, loud as ever, "He's DEAD! No, I mean he's going to DIE! I'm gonna stomp his face into the curb!" Pure rage. My little heart putters and then drops into my butt. I am not a fan of violence, but I don't really do anything to stop it either..I'm sort of a wimp like that.

But I thought long and hard about if I should call the cops or not, and I felt that it's what needed to happen. I considered the fact that this guy was obviously way too drunk and probably had no idea what he was saying...but I figured a little scare from the police would hopefully deter him from continuing his tirade, and maybe keep his brother from instigating any more domestics. I can only hope though.

So I call 911.

I explain what's going on, the threats I heard him say, and that his brother may or may not be bleeding. Then, when they ask for the address, I go tard. Probably saying my address wrong about 5 times before writing it down to remember it. (side note, why does utah use numbers as road names?!) So, about 5 minutes later they show up.

I watch from the window, sense there's no point in trying to sleep until this is 100% over. (I'm too excited to sleep![Disney Commercial circa 1990])

And so, about 20 minutes later, after looking for blood on the brother outside and finding none, and apparently no hurt brother inside the house, they get all jolly and start laughing about stuff. Not sure what, seeing as they arn't screaming it anymore. So they all shake hands and little brother and friends go inside-brother limping.(?)

The cops stand around chit-chatting for a bit longer and then all jump-high five before sliding across the hoods of their cars and driving off. (Maybe I made that up.)

The end.

Hopefully this is the last of the domestics around here.