I cannot even begin to express how grateful I am for what I have, but I'm going to try!
First off, I have one amazing husband. We have been through so much together, I'm sure there have been many times when it would have been easier to just walk away, but we've stuck it out. I couldn't be happier. Every day things just get better and better, just when I think things are as good as they can get, he does something to make it even better. My heart is so full of love for Brayden, especially since we were sealed together in the temple, there is a noticeable change between us.
We have committed to be together for not only this life, but for the rest of eternity, it helps put things in perspective for us. It's easier to overlook the little things, because now I know that in the long run, it won't matter. What matters is that we are always on the same page, working together towards the same goals. Having a partner to be by my side through everything is more than I could ask for. My life finally has joy in it. I wake up every day with a heart full of thanks to God for the blessing of having my husband and my son in my life. I don't know how I ever lived without them before, my life was pointless before them, and now I have a purpose because of them.
My son, Max, is my second biggest blessing next to my husband. It doesn't matter if he keeps me up all night crying, or he poops,pukes, or pees on me, I enjoy every moment that I have with him. Growing up, I always wanted to be a mother, it was pretty much my only goal...sadly. For a long time I didn't think I could have kids, especially when I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I was scared, but hopeful. Then, two weeks after getting married, I got pregnant with my little Maximus! I was terrified that I wouldn't be a good enough mother for him because of my past mistakes. I didn't want to screw up this perfect little soul that God was entrusting to me. But I reminded myself that this was a miracle, the one thing I ever wanted, I was finally getting, even after I was told that it would be extremely difficult for me. The first time I saw my little monster on the ultrasound, I fell in love. I didn't understand how anyone could look at that screen and say they wanted to end its life, but I guess everyone has their excuses.
When Max was born he was taken away from me for two hours because he was dehydrated, it was the longest hours of my life! He was so perfect! The entire time we were in the hospital, and every day after, he was so sweet and peaceful. My life has been forever changed because of my little angel. There is something remarkable about being a mother, I have been awakened from a sleep it feels like. My entire life is now devoted to this little man. It makes me love my husband so much more, I want to make sure we have an amazing relationship and we never fight so our son never has to experience what Brayden and I had to.
I am so grateful that Brayden and I have chosen to depend on our Heavenly Father for all things. I have found that simply having a pure desire for something good is all it takes to get it. Every time I've truly wanted to better myself in an area, the Lord has blessed me. I believe that the reason we are so blessed is because we acknowledge the Lord's hand in all things. I know I would be nothing without Him, I would have nothing without Him. I just can't remember how I lived without my family before, it all seems like a blur until this point in my life. Like I wasn't really living until now. I seriously cannot believe how amazingly blessed I am! Yes, we're poor, yes we shop at thrift stores, and yes, we drive a '95 Saturn that's bright teal and smells like smoke and dogs. But oh well, all that stuff is temporary. I know that when I die all that stuff will not matter, because I will have my husband and children with me, and I could never ask God for anything more than that!
I trust in God, but not only that, I FEAR God! I know that He has given me all, and He can take all back. I don't ever want to offend Him, and that's mainly because I LOVE Him! I am blessed in my health, to be in this country, that I can have children, that I have the freedom to write this, that I have a save place to sleep at night, family that loves us, friends, food in my fridge, a full pantry, a husband who wants to work so I can stay home, clean clothes, a tv, computer, all things, but above all else, a savior who chose to give his life, willingly, to ensure that I could make it back to my Father above... and I know he would do it even if I was the only one to save! I'm grateful for the fact that I can repent of my past mistakes, and that I am forgiven too. =D
How could I ever complain?
Read more:http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=11825453#ixzz0tDSvMC1W
