My dark days.

The past sucked. I mean, literally, it was all wrong. But I can't help but look back fondly on some memories I have of "those days". It's complete craziness, I was totally irrational and stupid, but I really enjoyed having no limits sometimes.

I miss wearing combat boots. Not a lie, I would still wear my black lace-up knee high boots if I knew I wouldn't look crazy. I loved the way I dressed, I sometimes wish I could still dress like a teen. I felt like such a free spirit, music and clothes were my way of expression. 

I miss looking like a complete crackhead. Seriously. My favorite outfit was wearing ripped up jeans tucked into my combat boots with a giant knife tucked into the side of my boot; goodwill t-shirt on and a beanie. I loved it. 

I miss endless driving, blasting music, and spending time doing whatever I wanted.  

I miss being deathly thin. I do NOT miss being bulimic and doing drugs, but I really do miss being thin and looking awesome in whatever I put on. 

But that's about all I really "miss" about the old days. I don't think I'll ever relive them, they were awful. I cannot believe how stupid I was, how much I screwed up my life back then. It's horribly depressing to think about.

But still, when I see a thin girl wearing combat boots with a shaved head...I can't help but smile. I used to be her...thankfully I outgrew her.

I went from This:

To This:

PHEW! 

Now, time to get back to reality! Gotta put on my sexy workout pants, stretch a t-shirt over my ginormous belly, and go walking with my wonderful Auntie! Time to head back into the world of motherhood- by far the best place I have ever been!

Hord OUT.