The Gospel is real.

Having faith is some-what of a struggle for me. The best way to describe my relationship with my Heavenly Father is this: I walk in front of him and I do things MY way, I tell him that I want to do it for myself to see if I can do it on my own. Then, when I fail (as I always do without Him) I finally ask for His help with cleaning up my mess. It never works, so I think it's time to just let Him show me how to do it right the first time, cause I obviously have no idea what I'm doing. I'm glad that I've finally sat down and pondered on why it is that things never seem to go right with me.

 This is where my lack of faith comes in. I don't trust the Lord. After so many years of me telling Him to take the backseat in my life, now I have no idea what He actually is capable of!  When it comes time to make a decision, I faithfully pray, then with the answer the Lord has unmistakenly given me, I take it and weigh it out in my head with what I want to do. Then I do what I think I would like best at the time... sometimes it's His plan, and sometimes it's mine. I need to be humble and faithful to the end. It's very scary to think that this is how I've been making my choices in life, I mean obviously I've been doing something wrong to get me where I"ve been... but when I actually think about it realistically like this, it makes sence, I'm obviously going to be miserable when I am blantantly ignoring the Lord.

Through this whole experience with Brayden, I have come to realize that I don't have all the answers, and sometimes when we think something horrible is going on, it really can be a blessing. I thought I was gonna be heart broken forever when Brayden left, but for the spiritual growth that has happened in me, I would go through it a million times. I know my Heavenly Father loves me, I know He hears my prayers and He answers them too. I know He wants the best for me, even when I'm giving Him the cold shoulder, and I only hope that I can give that kind of love to someone else. That truely is what the gospel is all about, sharing that love with everyone.The gospel is such a perfect plan, there may not be room to error within, but once without there are infinite ways to help you get back on track. Ok, well I gotta go do some shopping now. I love you all! The church is TRUE!!!! lol